synfulx

i say offensive things.
dirty, obnoxious, personal things that you should never hear unless you have almost nothing to do with me, or unless you're disgustingly close to me, haha.

due to this unfortunate characteristic, i deem this journal friends-only. comment to request friending. don't be surprised if i unfriend you later due to inactivity, drifting or noncommenting on your (our?) part. i'm sure by that point it won't be a big deal. :D
trust me, haha.

also~ if you're going to be my friend, i'd prefer you actually read my entries, you know? there's no point in adding you just to boost my friend count. i don't really care about that, lol (& shame, neither should you!).
don't add me simply because you've seen me around before.
add me because you care. :)

so most people told me that work would be overwhelming. WHATEVER. okay, so it is. bleh. i don't feel like i have any free time anymore. i'm very angry today. i'm not sure why. i've been trying to rationalize how i feel, to stop being in such a bad mood, but it's not working. i feel like a lot of this is stemming from work. and it's all going to blow up on wesley, which is horrible. i don't want to be angry, but ..

maybe i should try the buddhist thing where i accept my irrationality. but i'm not buddhist. however, i don't understand it. i'm very ignorant. i choose not to believe a number of religions and theories and mock them, but i don't know what i'm mocking. i don't know what i'm ridiculing. why don't i believe in god? because as a child, i never believed in a higher power. that's only because i didn't see enough of the world. i can always enlighten myself, can't i? the thought of an "omni-benevolent god" seems so far-fetched to me, though. but how else did the universe come into being? science makes as much sense to me as religion does. the only reason i believe in science and not in religion is because i was taught it from grades 1 - 12. i wasn't taught about god. that's the only difference. my faith is flimsy and tenable. is that the word? no, it means exactly the opposite of what i wanted. XD meh.

i want some alone time. i want some time to tcg. i know that's really stupid; tcg is no reality. but what is reality? does this life matter? that's a really stupid question. before i know it, i'm going to start using philosophy as an excuse to skimp out on life.

All right! It ended up snowing. :D Of course, I think this was more around the morning than last night, which is when they said it was going to be, but oh well! More time to finish Philosophy and study for Psych. :D But what am I doing right now? Browsing LJ! Aren't I great. :D .. I miss Christina being onlineee. ;o; *whine* At least she'll have electricity soon! :D But that doesn't mean she'll have internet. *mumble*

Work wasn't so bad. HAHA I have a crush on one of the workers. Silly Chanda. XD Work is pretty easy once you get used to it. I think it's just memorizing the UPC codes and standing for 5+ hours that's gonna be a biatch. I can't really do anything about that though than SUCK IT UP. haha. PAYCHECK ON THURSDAY YESS. Also I start work at 4pm so I can pick it up, go somewhere, and then come back to be tortured. :D TOMORROW I'M WORKING FROM 3pm - 9:30pm THOUGH. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? 6 hours!? D: Man. At least I have work off on Wednesday, which is half day. I won't have any time to do homework or anything. But why do I keep ranting about homework anyway, it's my last year of high school. It's not like any work I do now actually matters. .. .. *sniff*

It's supposed to be snowing tomorrow. I love how they said it was 80% but now it's 30%. Honestly. XD

I miss jrock. BUT I'M TOO LAZY TO LISTEN TO IT. (<3 isshi)

Lisa gave me my work schedule yesterday. I work every day of the week except for Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. ee. Wednesday's half day, so I definitely want to spend that with Wesley .. but I also need a day for seeing the doctor's. hmm. Maybe I can ask Lisa & Christina if they want to hang out tomorrow, so I can schedule the eye doctor's on Monday .. I really don't want to go to the eye doctor's on Friday. T^T

I'm happy with life at the moment, although I'm prepared to be overwhelmed by work. At the same time, should I really be so worried? Worrying doesn't help in any way. I just can't help cringing at the thought of a line full of customers who are all buying produce .. GAH I HATE PRODUCE CODES. wtf man. Why can't they put stickers on all of the items. @___@

Well, at least I'll have a paycheck I suppose.

It's supposed to be snowing really badly later today, and then tomorrow, too. I think I said that last post. Anyway. I hope there won't be school. I need an extra day to work on studying for Psychology. I just remembered! There won't be any school tomorrow, since that's Martin Luther King Jr. Day. :D The bad part of that is that the Crime & Prejudice reading is due the day after that. mannn.

I wish someone would teach me how to drive. Maybe I should get off my lazy ass and call uncle. -_-

Is it weird that, because it's snowing here, that I want to have a cheerful, Spring layout? It's so pretty, isn't it? As you might be able to tell, I've just discovered the beauty of S2 layouts. XD They're so neat!

The end of this week came so fast. I think it was because of work. ^^;; At the same time, it feels like it's been forever since Monday. @__@ What's up with me? Earlier in Creative Writing, I asked Linda why she wasn't here yesterday. Her response: "I was here yesterday. o.o" Cue hysterical laughing and, "you're a weirdo." XD I don't know. It feels like it's been forever .. *mumbles*

I've paid Ally the $125. Just $5 more! :D Then I can pay my mom $20 for the bus pass she bought me. ^^;; Isn't it great how I'm using my first two paychecks to pay debts? XD After that I'm going to deposit my money in the bank. :]

I hung out with Wesley (<3) after school today. :3 It was raining a loooot. XD We ate at Green Bamboo. He took a break from his vegetarianism (gasp!) to eat with me. :P Funny thing is, neither of us were actually hungry lolol. oh, Before this, we went to CVS with Ally, where she bought a prepaid credit card. Anywho. Wesley bought me a bag of Valentine's candy (since i wanted it, haha ..) and we headed on over to his house. We hung out for an hour before I had to leave. XD yeah, Having a car would be so much more convenient .. -_-;

I ended up talking with Kevin the bus driver again. XD This time one of his friends (i don't remember his name @_@) entered the bus with us and chatted. haha. Turns out there's going to be two huge snowstorms headed our way Monday & Tuesday. If it's in the morning, yay no school! Not to mention it's quarterly week next week too. :3 I really hope I don't get work on Wednesday .. I wanna hang out with Wesley .. ._.;

I went on hiatuses for Adagielle & Critical Hit, but I just e-mailed Wing "NEVERMIND!!" back, and I think I'll be doing that to Seiya as well. XD;;

I should sleep soon .. *yawn*

It's supposed to be raining really hard outside. o_O This week has been so weird. It's not even this nice in the spring, lol.

The Rock Band thing yesterday was fun. :3 I hung out with Christina & Lisa and we went to go pick up our paychecks. We got like $70 something, but I owe all of it to Ally anyway, so whatever. Wesley ended up giving me the majority of his snowboarding fees, though, during Creative Writing class. If he wants to pay for it, I guess he can. So anyway, I've got $125, so I'm $25 short, plus I need to eat lunch, and I owe my mom $20 for my bus pass. @__@

Anywho, I'm better at playing the drums (yay!) and I found out I like sour cream and onion dip. XD A bit later, Johnny came and me & Christina were eating an extra dish of katheau that he had. :3 I kept trying to feed Christina mushrooms. XD It was good. ^_^ We also created a jrocker named Die, fashioned after Die from diru. XD Lisa kicked me & Christina out around 6:20 so she could spend time with Johnny. :P

Fortunately, I don't have any homework, so just came home and chilled. I didn't eat anything since I ate the katheau. XD;

I don't have any plans today, but that's okay, 'cause I kinda just wanna come home. I haven't had a day for that this week. ^^;

I think it's safe to assume that no one reads this anymore .. and as such, it's safe to post here again. XD 

I got on the bus yesterday with this guy who I used to always go on the bus with. He's the bus driver, mind you. XD We caught up a bit, and he was happy to see me and Wesley together again, since he was worried that we were going through some problems ("some" problems? @_@). After we got to the station, he parked in the parking lot, turned off the bus, and sat by where I was sitting. XDD It reminds me of when I would do this with John, seriously! XD It was interesting. He told me a lot about his college years, and how he got to be where he is now. He is OLD. In the middle of talking, the lights suddenly went off, and he said, "I did not plan this!" XD He's a cool old dude. :3

School, at the moment, is easy. ^_^ Trig can be challenging .. uh .. English can be tedious (especially since we're supposed to get Crime and Punishment soon >_>) and Creative Writing is also pretty fun. The good thing about that though is that we're on poetry now! :D Not to say that poetry is easier than fiction writing, but .. it seems like it'd take less effort just to write. :3 

I'm supposed to go the mall? or Lisa's house to play Rock Band with her, David, Christina and Johnny today. I didn't think Johnny was coming, and it was just going to be a sort of girls' hang out (plus David XD), but I guess it would make sense for Johnny to be there, since they don't get to spend that much time together. Speaking of timing .. I wonder if I'll still have time to hang out with Wesley. I don't think that'll be a problem though, since we see each other a lot. ^__^ I dunno. I really like this second relationship with him. XD He makes me really happy, and at the same time, I'm not stupid like I was in our first relationship. I'm not all immature, and expecting, and irrational. I lurve him. :D /mushiness

I shall be picking up my paycheck from Market Basket today! ^__^ It'll be my first paycheck. I have to give all of it to Ally though, since I owe her money for paying for both mine and Wesley's snowboarding fees. D: I really want to go snowboarding again!! It just makes me nervous when John describes how Sunapee looks. :x At the same time, he says it's awesome. My only problem will be trying to pay for both myself and my loved one .. ;o; As much as I really want him to go, I'm not sure if I can pay for him every time we go snowboarding. ._. I don't really think I'll have to worry about that, though. XD It's not like we'll be going snowboarding all the time. :P 

hmm. My addiction to TCGs is starting to die down. Let's see what happens.</p>

I am seriously obsessed with the Dusk and Summer album from Dashboard Confessional. I've been listening to only it out of my entire music collection since David recommended it to me during the summer. It's so damn BEAUTIFUL. His voice is LOVE and the guitar is LOVE and everything is just LOVE. Ironically, the whole album is very bitter. XD I love it hard!

okay Anyway. I haven't written much at all. o.o I don't have time to write. ;o; I keep going out, man. I've been trying to make days where I come straight home, but then Wesley says, "Hey, want to hang out? :D" Damnit, Pauline is telling me that a lot of people have been asking her whether or not we're going out again. We're not, damnit. >.< Can't peoples of opposite sexes be platonic friends? *laughs inwardly*

An outline of my day!:
- Went the StuCo meeting this morning .. almost missed the bus, haha, haven't taken it in so long. :'D  Volunteered to help with some party and sign up for the MS Hike .. sounds like fun, plus I don't have to raise any money~
- Guitar class: I'm on the third lesson, yay! I always get so nervous when I have to play the lesson for the teacher so I can progress. ;o; Kevin gave me a pick and that simple gesture made me so happy, lol. XD I don't consider us to be close friends anymore, so was surprised that he'd walk over and give me a gift. Simple things really make my day. :) I was happy I got to play the guitars (the past few days we've been learning Music Theory --quiz tomorrow!) because I finally was able to practice First Day of My Life. :DD
- Trig: Nothing special. I hate the class. T__T The only part of it I enjoy is that I walk there with Eric (does that count? XD) and Philosophy is afterwards. T__T
- Philosophy: Gave my Epictetus (Greek Stoic Philosopher) presentation! I hope he liked it. D:
- Psychology: bleh. A 73. T__T The last couple of questions should have been easy points. -_- I saw John's grade and was really surprised. :|
- Stats: Skipped the first half to attend David & Christina's lunch, since Ally wasn't there. :( I bought them lunch --lol I don't have money to eat tomorrow & Friday. XD I walked David to Int'l Foods and then~ went back to my Stats class and tried to finish the 3rd chapter for the remaining time period. -_- Went on my way towards Creative Writing, where I encountered Charlie along the way --yay! Less awkwardness than usual. ;D
- Creative Writing: HAHA! Wesley and I made a bet yesterday: that the other would slip up and call each other by "chanda" or "wesley." We were supposed to call each other either "Jessica" or "Shawn." I WON! He turned around and went, "Hey Chanda, how's your--" "OMG I WIN!" I slammed the desk and clapped while Northrup was still trying to talk. XD haha He owes me $5. ^___^ This is EXTREMELY strange of me to say, and DON'T SPREAD IT, but I am attracted to Brandon. He's intriguing. XD
- Lunch: Linda wasn't here. lolz Johnny made stupid gestures with his Dippin' Dots. XD He gave Brandon his spoon so commenced to lick the Dippin Dots out. NOW SEE HERE. I sit in front of him, so it was very disturbing --every time he looked up at me, his eyes looked really big it was really hard to look around them. XD Eventually I got fed up and just got him a spoon. XD I walked Wesley half-way to Sociology and went to~
- English!: People were surprised that I was there uber late, since I'm usually the first one there. XD Chau was trying to mess with me by staring at me angrily. It wouldn't faze me though --I kept smiling sweetly at her until she stopped. XD I got a 94 on my Oedipus test! I really think the math is wrong, but I'll take that up on Mr. D later. XD I think I got higher (since I only got half a question wrong, and they're worth 4 each .. so I should get a 98 -_-).

After everything I went to go play tennis with David. We stopped by TAG and then went to his house --met Eric halfway and got some cookies. :D Sophal from Lion Dancing said yo chanda~ and then David and I got to his house. His mom was bitching about his nails, since I painted them. XD "Are you in a gang? Are you gay?" I was like, dude you should just remove them, but he wanted to keep them because it bothered her. If I knew it'd be that much trouble, I wouldn't have done it. e.e She saw I had the same color and started saying girls shouldn't wear dark colors either. JESUS. I wish I got along with my friends' parents. XD I swear, she keeps forgetting I can't speak khmer.

We went to go play tennis --lol, Johnny's house is right behind the courts!? He called my name and I was like woahz! He said hi and then went to his house to sleep. XD I think I've been doing better! I bought a shock absorber at Wal*Mart and it really helps my wrist. :] I'm happy with my performance. I really want to play the other guys (Brandon, Joe, Saroum) just because I haven't played them. :DD David is getting steadily better, but didn't perform his greatest today.

The walk home with him was extremely fun --I don't know why. XD We just fooled around like children. I laughed so hard. I threw a dead stuffed animal at him and I swear, he squealed like a girl. XD hahahaha.

This will be x-posted to nvrmre, 'cause I have a feeling Ryna & Lisa don't check my eljay. :D

I spent a good part of my morning looking through College Board. I have NO IDEA what college I want to go to. >_< All I know for sure is that I want to get out of Lowell. D: I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to go to some place in state, in New England, or just some place in the US in general .. bleh. And then I started worrying, 'cause most of the colleges I was looking through required Subjects tests as well as the Reasoning test. I haven't even taken the Reasoning test yet, and my dad STILL hasn't given me his credit card so I can sign up. THE DEADLINE IS TOMORROW.

If my dad doesn't help me sign up by tonight, I am going to beg to Mr. Soulard that he give me a fee waiver so I can take it .. It seems like if kids do it that way, they don't really need anything from their parents. I'm not going to lie or anything, I'm going to plead my case (that my dad is too lazy -_-) and hopefully he will sympathize or at least help me stress how important it is to my dad. Shouldn't he understand how important the SATs are? He had to haven taken them at one point in his life too, right? He went to Lowell High as well. T__T

I was looking through a lot of the English careers, and I really don't like the sound of most of them .. ._. As much as I love English and Literature, the jobs sound absolutely BORING.

I am so bad at life. D: .. And this weekend went by so fast. >__<

ee! I haven't posted here in a really long time. D: I must not stop! I've been writing here since Freshman year and it shall stay that way. T__T

I don't know, I just haven't felt like I want to after the whole Charlie thing .. But that shouldn't really be a problem anymore. He seems to be fine, and there's no reason (sort of XD) why I shouldn't be .. so .. ^__^;

Obviously I've been posting there for more personal things ..

hmm. School's started! I tried to get into piano & guitar but my bitch of a guardian counselor was too lazy. -_- So now I'm taking UML Stats in semester 1 instead of 2 .. >___<;; And the book is so expensive! ahh!! I'm so screwed! D: I don't know how I'm supposed to get it .. I'm hoping either Phi will let me get hers, or I beg John to order it for me online. I don't want to trouble the guy. x.x Or I could make friends with that asian chick I sit next to in the class. :D?

I've felt kind of upset the past couple of days because of what's been going on with Wesley and David .. I really don't want to make any choices that will disrupt the delicate situation that already exists. Neither of them are going to force me to, either. T__T

I'd write more, but I'm too tired and should call Christina about the SATs thing .. ^^;;

i haven't posted here in a while lol. i actually post on my blogger, pitas (well, not yet for that place), this eljay and nevermore now. xD so yes.

look at this cat! it's so photogenic!
http://flickr.com/photos/h329/sets/72057594074034214/with/419773410/
i couldn't help but have an icon of one of its poses. kyaa~ so adorable! >_< it makes me almost ashamed to be allergic to them. even if it wasn't my choice. T.T so cuute!!

i haven't been up to much. :) i don't know when my dad will schedule those road lessons and i don't really care lol.
hmm .. i have to walk downtown in the rain in less than an hour! yay! :D lol i'll be carrying my hundred on me .. xD so hopefully lisa and christina will let me pay for their meals (they can give me the total of their meals) .. cause i need to break my hundreds .. ._.
i had something of a depressing chat with wesley last night .. :| i wonder what the future holds? hmm. this post is really random.
i really want a new guitar now D:

guys, school is so close! less than three weeks left! and i haven't seriously started my english, or even started the written parts of ap psych .. bleh. i should be more worried about the english. :| as much as i want to do them, i can't help but continually practice finger picking with my guitar .. D:

i was reading a lot of my old pitas and blogger posts .. i don't even want to look over my eljay ones lol. geh, so many memories .. along with me listening to all this old music .. ;o; oh man, we're seniors ..

I haven't posted in a whiiile .. Lots of random things have been going on. I meant to post last Thursday but I got sidetracked. :D Damn you AIM! x.x I've been staying up recently til 11, even if I'm not on AIM (doing random things --practicing guitar, video games) and it sucks. ;o; I think this is the earliest I've woken up in a long time. And I'm only up this early 'cause I put my alarm clock on. :P

Don't feel like talking right now .. Sleepy. *yawns*

I have Driver's Ed this week~ 30 hours. o.o Christina went two hours a day for two weeks? That's still ten hours, isn't it? I'm still taking ten more hours than she is, aren't I? That sucks. But it's just a week, I guess? I don't really know what's going on. I'll just do whatever my dad wants me to do. He picks me up after classes, so it gives me the opportunity to go, "Hey, why don't we visit Guitar World afterwards? .. :D" I need a new string set (the one I'm working with is freaking old ;o; since Pauline's kindergarten year xD) and a capo, just so I can practice some chords online .. ^^ That's around $25 maybe, but I do need to break one of my hundreds .. I don't know. Should I just go all out and buy a new acoustic? The guitar I have now sounds horrible compared to David's. I'm hoping it's only because of the strings, not because of the guitar itself.

I finally got David to tune it after I tried myself .. eheh, I got angry and just completely screwed the guitar out of tune. xD It's all fine again, so I've been practicing since I stopped for a while. *ashamed* If I keep going as I am, I'll never reach my goal by the end of summer .. *sigh* I've been practicing switching and I'm getting better at it, but only with similiar chords, like E Minor or G, or C and A Minor. I freaking hate D for serious. I don't even mind D7. >.> *babbles about random chords*

So I want to finish my Psych by the end of the week. I would have probably finished it right away after my Florida vacation but I got the internet back haha and completely put it in the back burner. :D;;

I don't want to go to schooool. -____-

LiveJournal died for a day. I'll take that as an omen and not comment about anything that happened yesterday. But congratulations to Lisa! ^__^ (If you don't know, I'll let her tell you the good news herself. ^^) And I mixed up some chords, saying D7 was kinda like C when it was G7.. David making me feel all stupid. -_-

From now on I probably won't be as descriptive as I am usually. XD; Getting kind of bored of it.

I was supposed to go to the doctor's Monday, but my dad got the appointment wrong. -_-; It was today. I got three shots! :o And asked my doc about some stuff. Like about when I was all worried about my boobies cancer. She told me not to worry about it, and that it's normal for females to have lumps there occasionally; she says girls have them a lot when they're in their teens. But she felt around just to make sure --nothing was wrong. I was so relieved. I've also dropped 8 lbs from how I much used to weigh. o.o 102.0 lbs on the dot. And I am 62 inches tall. Or was it 61? How many inches are in a foot? 8D; *tries to do math* 12 inches are in one foot, soo .. haha. 8D; I'm almost 5'2". yay! I grew 2 inches from last year! XD David was just saying I looked taller too. hehe.

I got three shots today. ;o; One for meningitis, one for chicken pox (lol i spelled it pocks and just kinda stared at it), and one for HPV (human papillomavirus). :D I have to go back in two months to get the next injection for the HPV, and then four months for my last injection. Hopefully I won't get cervical cancer or something. :D;

After I got the shots I asked the nurse uhh is it cool if i play tennis after this? o.o; And she said why not, but she asked the other doctors just to make sure. So I can to play tennis in an hour with Wesley. 8D

I've been sleeping late recently. o_o; Must be from being on the computer all the time. D: That's not natural for me! >_<; Anywho. I don't go jogging in the morning anymore. ^^; But I think that's okay since I go out and play tennis most of the time. I played yesterday with Wesley and David (Lisa was too sick to come, still >_<) and I can actually say I'm at David's skill level! XD David denies it, but I think I really think could beat him. >3 Before he offered to go out whenever I felt like it to play tennis, but now he's sick of it. XD He's been playing like every consecutive day with us and his own friends haha. Actually, he invited me to go play tennis with them on Friday. ^^; I'm kind of nervous because .. well, they're people I don't know, but at the same time excited 'cause I get to play more people at tennis. :D

Wesley is actually just really good, lol .. ^^;;; He can move all around the court on his own, even if it's me & David against him. I think John could work the same way, if only his foot was okay? I think Wesley & John are at the relatively same level. I think I'm lower than them. Around David. :3 haha, Why am I giving stats anyway ..

Yesterday was really fun. I think it was because we started out later and had a shady court, so we all lasted a lot longer than usual. I dunno; I was feeling competitive. o.o; We had the fortune to be at the Callery while the other guys were having lion dance practice, so we were able to chat with them later on. XD When Wesley, David and I went to go to Neko's to get a drink, Henson ran over and tried to steal Wesley's bike lmao. He kept running over to it like he was going to steal it whenever we came back. :P On the way back to the court from the store, we walked by this hispanic guy carting his son around in a wagon, so I smiled at him. I was a bit nervous, because he didn't exactly smile back, but it turns out he was following us to the court. I think he took my smile as an invitation to play with us. XD

omg wtf! He was so good at tennis! lmao At first me & Wesley played against him, but I felt completely out of my league (I could always return the balls, but they weren't as quick and as low as I wanted them to be) so I let John play. I think John & Wesley were a pretty good match up against the guy. XD ahh It was cool though. He did a lot of cocky shots, like twirl in the air before he backhandededly smashed the ball back to our court. T_T Such a show off. XD I wish I could play like him someday! Anyway, the lion dance dudes left after we chatted with John for a while. He offered to give me the Deathly Hallows leak which was online (lmao the dude photographed every single page of the book x__X) and scheduled some boxing stuff with David and Wesley. haha David was telling me to join boxing. XD;; Then we let Wesley play against the dude XD; before he finally stopped playing against us and just watched us play. He left and gave us some balls because we couldn't find ours. ;o; We lost one of John's, so I felt obligated to give him one of mine, except now I only have one ball because I lost one of mine when I played with Wesley .. >____<; I only have one ball left, and I feel really stingy about buying more .. mann.

Then we played tennis for some more. omg I love that game. XD Wesley wanted to go to the store and buy a drink, so David gave him money to buy a gallon and some gum. We were too lazy to go with him. XD;; I was wearing flipflops while playing tennis, so my feet were (are!) really sore from the impact of hitting the ground. That's my fault, but still lol. Wesley came back and gave us the gallon and gumballs from the gumball machine. Which sucks cause those are all sugary and gross. D:

okay I'm getting bored talking about this. XD

We sat at the callery for a bit and chatted before I suggested we go back to my house. I really wanted to take a shower. x_X So I went and did that, and then came out all nice and clean. I don't really remember what else we did. We played truth or dare (omg guys they made me do bad stuff that Ryna didn't even get mad for but should have! i felt violated >___<) which is a game I'm going to stay away from for a while, and chatted and listened to David play guitar or whatever, and then Ryna called. I let Wesley & David talk to her and I suggested to her to call back at 9. I kind of .. made David & Wesley stay til she called. >_< David wanted to stay, but Wesley had to get home (he was getting in trouble, I think >__<) and they wanted to walk home together, so I eventually let them go after 9:20 (since Ryna still hadn't called by then).

yeah that's all. I don't think I'm going to give such detailed reports about my day anymore. XD;; It's too tiring. I went online and talked to Charlie and whatever after Ryna didn't call. yeah, I'm giving up with him lol. It's so pointless now.  I still have to return Genshiken vol. 4 to him, but I'm in the acre a lot so I can do that. I can give him his MP3 player back, too. haha, Funny thing is, my dad got that Zen V Plus MP3 player. XD So I want to ask him for his mini iPod shuffle thing. >.> Our whole falling-out situation is unfortunate, but I can honestly say that I tried to the best of my ability to stay friends. I'm not going to revert to petty begging so I can make him feel wanted. You shouldn't have to beg someone to be your friend.

For some reason, David's all worried about me staying at home all the time (o.O?) so always asks me if I'm okay. I'm hanging out with them & Lisa (hopefully x_x) again on Thursday to go swimming at Wesley's pool. yay! .. Swimming! .. x_X Today I have a physical at 4. I have a lot of things to point out to my physician. Like, am I growing anymore? ANYWHERE on my body? T___T

hallo! :D how are you doing? i feel fat. ^^;;

wednesday i hung out with wesley. :D that was neat, except i found out something that makes me uncomfortable and really feel like a brat. x__X i really don't deserve a lot of what i get. somehow life just hands me these lemons, except i don't need any lemonade because i've been drinking too much water. ;o; does anyone know what i'm talking about? xD um yes.

and then thursday i was supposed to hang out with charlie, but decided to let him spend the day however he wanted it. :D so i was up in the morning and saw lisa online which is like woahz! 'cause she's never on. so i said hello and eventually she got to telling me about a job place hiring downtown. :DD i was like omg awesomeness! especially since she said johnny already got an application. :3 so i got ready (for some reason, lisa wanted to leave really early) and i got to her house by like 10:30. i dropped charlie's game at charlie's house before i got to her house. :D we went downtown and filled out the applications, and then went to artbotics so she could pick up her chocolate. she left it there after their bbq. saw all the dudes and eric and whoever else, said hello, saw the artbotics lab for the first time. it's very office -y. cool. :D i like the little beds with the fuzzy funky design pillows. xD yup.

we called xtina but she wasn't home (summer school possibly?). xD so we called david and we woke him up. xD so we were gunna go play tennis with him, except lisa couldn't find her wallet. we found it later lying innocently next to her coffee latte. T___T eric tells me he and charlie are getting promoted and i'm like forrlz!? nuh uh! but then he said charlie didn't know so ya. :D we left and dropped by charlie's house to tell him tha news. lisa gets acquainted with katie (charlie's pommie). again. xP we go to david's house! we watch hana kimi (again! omg ashiya is so hot!! (and so is the gay doctor rofl)) xD we call wesley to see if he wants to play tennis wif us. :3 he comes over. we still don't leave for tennis even though they want to; i'm too comfortable even though it was my idea to play tennis hahaha. xD we hang out --eat spaghetti, watch tv, find stuff on the compy *gigglesnort*, i learn how to play more guitar (i know G, Em, and C now! omg wtf i can't do D x__X)! :DD i also get to play some super mario world (2?) on david's sp, which i used to love on the old SNES. omg wtf david's lil bro loves me just like wesley's little sisters do. xDD later on we're all like "dude guys sleepover!!" wesley & i are all for it 'cept lisa always has a problem sleeping over peoples' houses so she said she'd stay long but not actually sleep over. :P

in the mean time we played truth or dare/spin the bottle. ahh i love that game. xD i wasn't as scared because huy/john/hung weren't included, so i knew the game wouldn't be so bad. ahh it was fun! learned a LOT of things about david i never knew xDD did a lot of dumb things like have wesley work david like a pole, watch lisa "moan" and "snuggle" with herself in david's bed (it's okay cause it's the bed he never sleeps in, even though it's like a freaking queen size >__>), have david serenade me with "first day of my life" and sing karaoke together. xD haha everyone loves maroon 5. :33 it was funny, because it took FOREVER to be able to get david to sing to us, but after he was able to get through singing the first verse of wonderwall (even though i still had to sing with him because he was too nervous -_-) he enjoyed the singing and wanted to do more (hence being able to sing bright eyes to me xD). ahh but it was cool. i was gunna be able to sleep in that big bed!! but then david's mom came up and told us all to go home. xD david was pissed because he didn't expect his mom to care, but we all just left. wesley & i didn't want to waste a sleep over day xD so we all walked to lisa's house. david stayed til 12 before he went home. we hung out at lisa's. :DD

i was freaking HUNGRY cause i hadn't eaten a lot all day, and worried about my contacts, but it was all good. i spent most of the night talking to wesley, since we were both sleeping on the floor. xD i didn't want to sleep on lisa's bed cause when i sleep between her and sandy it gets really hot. @__@ sleeping on the floor was uncomfy for my body, but at least the temp was nice. i think i fell asleep around 3, even though i told wesley i would stay up all night talking to him. yeah i was too tired. x_X christina, remember the time i said i would try to watch the sun rise with you? well, yeah, it was kind of like that, except .. lol no nevermind it was a lot like it. learned some more things about wesley! :o not much though haha.

morning comes! we're all freaking sleepy! sandy & yen go to wal*mart, lisa gets subway's for us and we chill and eat. :D we watched the hey there delilah song and i think about how david could play some of that xD and just listened to more music til 11 which is when the music vids on vh1 end, i guess. well, we ate the subway's after the vids, but anyway .. i go home with wesley. :D i take a shower, wesley and i call david, but he's already at the bartlett playing tennis! i'm all disappointed but try to hide it. xP so wesley and i head towards the callery to play our own game! the game was pretty fun. i'm getting better at it! i saw all the other guys, david ouk and this other dude in my healthb class and david ouk's hot friend. o_o; there's something about him though .. anyway, we go to neko's 'cause we need some water. i pay for 1/3 of it. xD lmao, on the way nick and kyle and thems say hello, and i can't recognize kyle. i honestly never can for some reason --as i told wesley, kyle is cute, but his face is nondescript. xD we come back from neko's and chat. i meet kyle's little bro carl for the first time. xD i let minh chau use my tennis balls with his match against derrick. wesley and i go chill and chat some more in the shade of the park. it was really nice and pleasant; the breeze was wonderful. then derrick comes over and they chat and i get extremely bored and i think i fell asleep. xD

for some reason i wake up (did i ever fall asleep?) in a bad mood and accidentally make wesley upset. ;o; we drop off wesley's racket at john's place and head back to my house. i'm all freaking tired from staying up and whatever so plan to take a nap after wesley leaves. i feel really bad for making wesley down. x__X i play some ds, then give up and take the nap. david calls later and apologizes for not being there, and i'm all it's okay! :D let's talk online later 'cause i can't hear a thing you're saying! xD i try to go back to sleep but can't because i'm too hungry. ;o; so i stuff myself full of chinese sausages and market basket chicken while watching the 20th eppy of naruto shippuuden. then i try to nap again but end up playing diner dash for a couple hours lmao. it's getting so hard! ;o;

then i go online because i want to listen to music, see who's online, and update the eljay 'cause i haven't in a while. :D it's almost ten, so i think i should head to sleep ..

the family wants to go to the museum of science tomorrow (but they only have four passes lmao). i wouldn't mind going, but if no one wants to pay for me then i don't mind staying home. i'd probably just sleep all day. x__X some more tennis with lisa david & wesley on sunday! :DD i need to get better .. ;o;


.. what do i do with these lemons? x__X

..

i used to be the bubble. :(

I remember when I used to be really obsessed with the song above. xD ahh The Darkness. Such a great band. I'd love to play them on GH. O.O

Not much has happened since I last posted. ;o; I haven't even been jogging recently. Maybe I'll go tomorrow. I'm definitely going Monday anyway. I have to give Huy his ten dollars that day too. I was hoping he forgot. xD I'm sorry. Maybe I'd be more willing to give him birthday money if he had attended my birthday party the year before? -_- ah well. lol whatever.

Hung out with Lisa & Christina on Thursday .. It doesn't feel the same without Ryna anymore. ._. But I had two boxes of noodles .. augh that killed me. D: And after seeing that drama, I'm suddenly into older men. xD

Yesterday was Henson's bbq for his birthday. He's 16 now! ^^ I'm only half a year older than him. =o I went to go see Ratatouille with him, Hung & Betty. When I came over they were playing Mario Kart on 100cc or something and Hung was doing really bad. xD yeh well we walked there and talked about random crap along the way. Paid for the movie, got in JUST IN TIME. I thought that part was awesome lol. It was a really cute movie. ^^ I was just bummed 'cause I didn't have like, Ryna or Christina sitting next to me. I can always talk to them during a movie. :T I wasn't sure if Henson would mind or not. xD; Gosh, I haven't gone to the movies with them in the longest time.

Henson hadn't eaten all day (this was around like 4:30) O.O so he and I went to the On the Run gas store while Betty and Hung walked home first. Funny thing is we got to the house at about the same time. xD Man, they must've been really slow. Their mom could've given us a ride home, but she was busy. Lisa got to the house a short while later. People started leaking in. And we ate barbecue and chatted. :D I asked Henson if we could call his parents "ming" and "bo" and he said sure. xD lol, I called his mom Ming and she actually liked it. She's starting to call me Honey and stuff xD and when we all laughed at her FOBness while she was trying to talk, I was the one she playfully shoved. xD She's rough. o.o;

The cake was good and I was one of the few who got a butterfly. xD Unfortunately the butterflies were just condensed sugar haha .. As a present, Derek gave Henson a framed picture of himself. And we put it by the cake, so when Henson opened his eyes to see his cake, he was all "wtf?" It was cool.

geh I'm too lazy to talk about stuff. We played Charades (omg wtf Hung is so good at that game) .. apparently Canadians are too cool to play Charades. -_- We also played "Cat want a corner?" and "All my People." They were fun games. It's fun to play something besides Cry Wolf all the time. xD We were supposed to go see a scary movie afterwards, but we just lost track of time and kept playing those games. You learn really weird things when you play all my people. xD

And then Betty left when her dad showed up. ._. Good luck to her and her tournament! Man! I wish I was part of some sport. I said this last year but I hope I can try and play volleyball. I really think the game is fun. ._.; And I also really hope Hung gets back to me about that job ..

I'm supposed to go to Wesley's house today aha, but his family is out and took him along shopping. xD So now I have no idea when I'm supposed to go over, and my family is going to go see the new Harry Potter in iMax :O!! so I'm trying to figure out what I want to do more .. x_X

WHAT THE HELL I WANT TO GO TO THE MAROON 5 CONCERT *sob* It's so affordable and so close ;o;

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I was supposed to post this a long time ago, but Livejournal was being weird for some reason. o.O

so i went jogging this morning. D: haha funny thing is i had a dream that i went jogging around 12 or something D: so am i glad that i went jogging early.

i am so pathetic. i was only able to keep running for five minutes. the rest of the time consisted of spurts and then i just gave up. i tried to run to hadley park from my house, and almost made it all the way there, but then i just turned myself around at the car-risma place. xD bleh. in the shower this morning, i reminded myself to stretch before i ran, but then i only remembered as i left my parking lot. x__X so i didn't stretch at all. it wasn't so bad for a while, and i had a touch of the runner's high .. but then i realized how much my chest hurt. x__X

after that i just walked home. i took a different route that i've never taken before though. my head hurt a lot and i wished that i didn't. x__X i think i'll do that every morning (that i'm not going to work) to explore lowell more since i should be able to drive soon lol. well not really soon but yeah .. uh .. i couldn't actually believe that i was running when i left the house. xD; i ran down middlesex st .. and other times i'll run down westford st .. etc etc .. whatever suits my fancy. i don't know why i always wanted to run at the merrimac. o_O i have plenty of long straight roads by my house lol.

i've made it a goal to run all the way to hadley without taking any stops! >:T also, i've been trying to run at a normal speed instead of jogging pathetically like i did freshman year. so yes! chanda isn't going jogging anymore. she's going running. T__T i'd like to see if i have the ability to get rid of that bit of gloop at my tummy ..

haha i love my silly little icon. thanks christina <3 xD

so kittery beach was today. :3 i couldn't sleep last night because of a freaking loud party, but thanks to some familiar & soothing therapy i was able to fall asleep better than i would've been able to otherwise .. anyway! :D i woke up at 6am by accident like OMG is it time to get ready !? .. so i just fell asleep again til 7. xP i was all in a rush until lisa called me and said "uh .. i just woke up 8D;" so i had plenty of time lol. and then when we finally got to henson's house i find out we didn't even have to come til 8.30am (we got there around 8). omg though when we got there, i was seriously starting to regret not bringing the shining D: it was that boring for me lol. we were all just milling around their computer watching youtube videos. i'm sorry, i personally don't find that very enjoyable x__X oh but henson finally cut his hair! it's just spiked now. i like it because it's a change from his usual haircut :3

the ride there was kinda boring too .. but when we finally got there it was fun (despite the insects there being nasty beasts)! lmao all the parents were upset because we found out that the only food we brought was hotdogs. xD they left a whole bucket of chicken at home. anywho, first thing we did was play volleyball :D .. then xtreme frisbee haha which really knocks the wind out of me. i really need to work on that D: it's kinda like football except with a frisbee :) .. then we played dodgeball. OMG henson nailed me on my freaking right ear, and then i skidded into the fort wall with my left arm because i was disoriented. when i get hit hard in my head area, i start involuntarily crying lol so i tried to just walk it off while he followed me around saying "i'm sorry! i'm sorry!" haha but it was all good. ^^ henson did a lot of mean things actually lol now that i think about it ..

after we all fooled around we decided to touch the shore. it was cold :o and so far away, since it was low tide! .. so we went back up and changed to go swimming. ^^ lol i just took off my pants and betty freaked out 'cause she thought i wasn't wearing anything under xD;; we played tapsies in the water which was really fun i thought, because if you lost you had to get on your knees and get splashed by everyone else. haha it's really sadistic if i think about it. but anyway, as you keep losing you get on one elbow, and then the other, and then you have to do one pushup, and then two, etc. xD but most people weren't that bad lol. it was mostly just john & hung. :P ahh i feel like i'm writing too much. x_X

then we played marco polo .. and there was this funny incident with john getting stuck in the mud and then a huge centipede thing came up and he freaked out and flew out of the sand .. we did random stuff. but then .. augh i'm too lazy to say everything. xD let me try and sum it up uhh .. yeah .. we just hung out and ate and stuff .. and then we were heading home and everything. i actually enjoyed the ride home because i was able to hold relatively intelligent conversation with henson's dad ^^ oh haha speaking of conversation, i was like shocked when manesine actually spoke to me while we were alone together since lisa & betty were changing and the guys were still rolling around in the ocean .. xD we had little moments like where we sat on a see-saw and were at equilibrium, or when i asked her if huy's mom scared her xD her eyes got all big and she was like, "YEAH." haha his mom is kind of intimidating sometimes, that's all. eh, well, i'm glad i'm on speaking terms with her now instead of just kind of uncomfortably being around her all the time. ^^;; it really makes it weird to hang around huy when she's around, but it shouldn't be anymore. :)

i got all scared when hung's dad asked us if we wanted a ride home at the end of the trip x_X i really wanted to hang out with them more lol, since i miss it a lot .. the trip today was like the only trip in the longest time, like a year!, that i've been able to get along with all the guys, john and huy included :o hehe it made me feel really good though when we parked at a little store, and i got out of the car and walked around to john & betty's side of the car and leaned into their window. john immediately said, "betty thinks you're pretty!" which she's said before, and betty beat him for saying it, but .. haha it never hurts to feed the ego. and then hung was like, "how much!? how much!?" .. since i was unintentionally leaning over like a hooker. :P silly guys. and lol, hung's parents asked me if my hair was curly naturally, and i had to explain to them that it was .. and then i complained to manesine: "i wish i had straight hair like you and lisa." "why? it's boring. your hair is pretty :)" of course, that's the automatic girl reaction, to deny and compliment, but that's all right. compliments about my hair is more pleasing than people commenting about how i sometimes look like an angry latina .. *cough*huy*cough*

yeah well. i just really enjoyed the beach with them today. and then when we came back to lowell i couldn't help laugh at the fact that it had rained there, but was perfectly fine in maine. ^^ anywho, henson's birthday is this friday! so we'll be celebrating it with a bbq~ :D the only thing is that i hope not too many people go .. luckily, knowing henson's parents, they'll probably prefer to invite only close friends (which is a relief, since when all the sophomores come i feel really suffocated x_X). ^^ also, i hope that i'll be able to get along with everybody like i did today .. @_@

when i got dropped off at home by hung, i couldn't help but feel kind of sad .. i haven't had that much fun with them in a really long time. but that's all right lol. they've got their lives and we've got ours. :) maybe they'll invite lisa & myself to kittery next year for the third time in a row! ^_^ who knows though; we'd be seniors by then ..

happy thoughts, chanda!

anyway, when i got home, nick said we were celebrating his birthday. :x vicheath said he's getting a white ds lite! omgwtf indeed! xD i want that .. T_T and will be getting it, whenever i go to walmart or whatever ..

i feel all selfconscious about my long posts after those monster comments i left you, christina xD;;

ahh i love money. xD that sounds incredibly .. er .. stupid, i know, but i can't help it! i've never earned my own money before, and the feeling of getting a paycheck is wonderful. especially the feeling of getting a paycheck you didn't even know you earned! xD according to lisa i got another paycheck of $105 .. her mom must get my paycheck knowing that lisa would get it to me. o_O woo! that's a total of $385 dollars! do you know how much money that is?? i have never carried that much money with me before! *excited*

.. eh. but yes. i've already planned to buy things, so yeah .. xD; a ds lite ($120), a modchip ($50), and a wi-fi connector thingie ($40). that leaves me with $175 (i think). that's okay though. as long as i get what i want (because i need to get SOMETHING i want!). :33 i'll save up the rest of the money and carry $20 with me. ^^ i plan to buy a wii, but not until it gets different colors and goes through its price drop --i'd like to buy a red wii, even if that won't look too great. red is mah favorite color. :3 (well, red AND white, but i doubt they would have different mixes of wiis lol ..) as much as i enjoy spending my money, i also enjoy seeing it pile up. :D so yes, i shall save my money after i buy all this crap. :)

lol today was a weird day. xD i got random phone calls (which is very unusual for me). in the morning (at like omg 9am D:) sam called me about the job. xD apparently she was on her way over there aha but i don't think she knows where it is! so i told her not to trouble herself and wait until i got news on whether or not they need new employees. and who knows? maybe if i get fired, she can replace me. ^^ hehe i will be able to think of her suffering at the factory while i sit at home and get fat. >D just kidding lolz. and then later lisa called .. i forget what about .. it was about my money methinks. and so she told me i got another paycheck and i'm all wtfomgforreal!??!? i love you!! well not really just like that's awesome man! :DD haha she laughed about sam being outside randomly x.x and said she'd call her. :P sam seems pretty cool .. except kevin was being mean to her. >:T it'll be nice to be able to be friends with her, possibly like lisa is.

anyway after that, like way after (i'm not sure when exactly) henson called. xD he was like omg no you recognized my voice! you know me well like lisa does (he had tried to trick her too)! xD he was probably going to try and be a stranger on the phone lol. anyway, betty's there, and there's a possibility of them going to the beach on sunday! ^__^ it's the same beach we went to last summer (kittery) --and that was a lot of fun, too. that was the time i slept over huy's house, actually .. that was a fun (though very .. strange) weekend. it'll be really nice to see betty again, even if i don't get along with huy or john like i used to. :T i really hope they're going to go! it would be great to hang out with henson hung & betty again (not to mention hung's parents xD). i'm glad at least THEY like me. :T hmm, that makes only two friends' parents actually liking me. xD *nudges christina's parents (or at least she claims they like me .. there's at least one good side to attending that accursed lyceum meeting xD) and then there are wesley's parents but they're white folks so they're just polite .. that reminds me, i have to visit them really soon ;o; mikayla said she misses me! maybe i'll be able to swim in their pool since i'm bringing nick along (even though he's terrified of water xD). hmm, well, wesley's birthday is monday and all, so maybe i could set something up with him then. ^^ i can't believe he's turning 17 :o even though most people around me are turning that old anyway xD; i just don't really realize that sometimes. o.o ahh i really hope henson calls me with good news tomorrow. it'd be a great chance to relax for once. plus, it'd be the first time going to the beach this summer! i heartheartheart the beach! ^__^

man lol i rambled a lot. o.o my bittorrent client (namely bitcomet) is working wonderfully (unlike azureus & utorrent) so i can download shizz again! ^__^ i've been catching up on naruto shippuden and whatnot. :DD i feel kinda nice right now lol. ^^ also, i was going to go jogging today, but i thought i would be too tired (i was still running on low energy plus something nearing near depression D:) so i didn't go. but now i'm feeling great~ :DD i can't wait to release those endorphins --so i'll go jogging sometime next week, thursday or friday (since work is the other half of the week) .. hopefully i'll be able to jog in the morning and be pumped for hanging out with christina and lisa that day xD (even though i don't really have to be pumped lol .. but you never know what christina will do to you (or oreo the killer cat for that matter!) :o)

man am i rambling lol. i should get some sleep now so i wake up all fit tomorrow! :DD